Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words.
I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
If you see this, please remind me why I walked into the kitchen.
Adulting level: one email away from quitting and moving to a forest.
My wallet is like an onion - when I open it, it makes me cry.
Turns out you can buy a Birthday cake anytime you want and eat it. Nobody checks.
I just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.