Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I told the doctor that I'd like to do my own stitches.
He said, Suture self.
I told a joke on a zoom meeting and nobody laughed.
Turns out I'm not even remotely funny.
A cigar is just a yoga session with fire.
The economy has changed so much. When I was a kid, I could walk into a store with $1 and walk out with 4 candy bars. Now they have cameras everywhere.
It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Life is like a bird. It's pretty cute until it craps on your head.
Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
I don't have a solution, but I can offer a critical comment.
Research confirms that 4 out of 3 people struggle with math.