Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
No one's listening until you fart.
Only dead fish go with the flow.
I was amused to read the epitaph on the late dentist's gravestone. It read "He's now filling his last cavity."
I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.
Why are ghosts always bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
What would you call someone with just a nose and no body? Nobody knows.
Why do bees hum? Because they can never remember the words.
Never tell your secrets in a cornfield. There are too many ears.