Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy? I hear you ask

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't read it.

I wanted to be a baker, but I never rose to the challenge.

I like my racks big, my butts smoked, and my sauces tangy.

If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.

Negativity infects the brain like weeds taking over a garden.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Lost time is never found again.