Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sort By: Most Popular Newest Random
Using the wrong tool during surgery can be heart wrenching.
🔎View
I don't know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what, I have never been sad at a Mexican restaurant.
🔎View
Sometimes I put the "PRO" in procrastination.
🔎View
Enjoy the warmth of August because we are approaching the series of BRR months.
🔎View
At the advent of it's invention the guillotine was considered cutting edge technology.
🔎View
I never should have given my actual email address to Swatch.
Now I'm on some sort of international watch list.
🔎View
A man has died after falling into a vat of coffee. It was instant.
🔎View
I was pulled over this morning, and the cop asked if I had a police record. I said no, but I have a Sting CD.
🔎View
UNO is the number one game in the world.
🔎View
A recent announcement says half of all vehicles will be electric in ten years. My questions is "Which half? Front or Back?"
🔎View