Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater than submarines in the sky?
Self checkout should include an employee discount.
I don't know if my pants are feeling loose because I'm losing weight or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.
Some guy just bursts into a real estate office yelling
"OKAY NOBODY MOVE!"
I have a plastic bag full of plastic bags at home.
People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
How come Miss Universe is only ever won by people from Earth?
Apparently "Spite" is not an appropriate answer to "What motivates you?"
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters.
If vegetables are so good, explain to me why vegans are always trying to make them taste like meat.