Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My IQ test results came back, and they were negative.
A man walked into a bar. Ouch.
Apparently "Spite" is not an appropriate answer to "What motivates you?"
Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.
Will my computer last five years? Obsoletely!
I changed my bathroom's name to "The Jim" so I can tell everyone I go to the gym every morning.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.