Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Scientists estimate there are over 650 million obese people in the world, but those are just round figures.

If we're not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light in the fridge?

Why did they call it "the dark ages"? Because there were so many knights.

There was a robbery at the lingerie shop. The robbers gave police the slip...

My friend escaped jail by wrapping his face with a whole roll of paper towels. Now there's a Bounty on his head.