Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.

My friend's Bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

I fell off a 20 ft ladder last night while working on my roof.
I am glad I was only on the first step.

I'm currently helping my son search the house for the chocolate I ate last night.

I grilled a chicken last night... He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road..

I was bitten by a mosquito last night.
Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today.

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