Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Whatever you're doing, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.

Looking for me? I'm with stupid. Doing what stupid does.

I put my to-do list for today on the fridge, but nobody is doing it.

I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous.

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.