Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

The chicken went to the gym to work on his pecks.

The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.

I really wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they're turning.

Fun fact, Scotland is approximately 50% land. The other half is Scot.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.