Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Don't worry. If Plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Don't you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It's dead yarn now, though.

I really wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they're turning.

There is a new vegetarian "meat" product out. They named it Incogmeato.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.