Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable.

Remember, if you can't say something nice, make it funny.

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.