Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

When I was skinnier, I had a shirt that said I could talk to dead people. I can't wear it anymore because I'm no longer a medium.

In a parallel universe people use Chrome to download Internet Explorer

I never thought I'd be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning… I was right!

People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they're likely to cause.

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?
l asked my 12 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.

You really got to hand it to short people, mainly because they can't reach it...