Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

"Lazy" is such a strong word. I prefer to call it 'selective participation.'

The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I went bald early in life but I still kept a comb. I just can't part with it.