Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
When I was fired from my job as a stage designer, I just left without making a scene.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day. To be discovered.
Just between you and me, I think "everything" bagels are making a lot of promises they can't keep.
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