Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.

Everyone I know is a 'snack getting stuck in a vending machine' away from total collapse.

I don't know Karate, but I know CRAZY and I’m not afraid to use it.

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.

Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security