Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I think I'm emotionally constipated because I haven't given a crap in days.

Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee

If you haven't grown up by age 50, you don't have to.

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

If I'm not on Facebook for over 2 days - call the authorities.