Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

I always arrive late to the office but I make up for it by leaving early.

Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.

I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.

Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.

Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.