Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I put my root beer in a square cup.
Now it's just beer.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.

To the person who stole my glasses - I will find you, I have contacts.

You should use glasses to do math. It improves division