Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

I'm not doing well in my reverse origami class. I'll let you know how it unfolds.

I want to open a two dollar store for people who enjoy the finer things.

Living proof that I can be busy doing absolutely nothing.

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."