Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The economy has changed so much. When I was a kid, I could walk into a store with $1 and walk out with 4 candy bars. Now they have cameras everywhere.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
After dinner last night my wife asked me if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!
I love going outdoors. It is much safer than going out windows.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn't have done this to me."
I snacked on Sodium Chloride and Acetic Acid chips last night.
Trust me, they tasted much better than it sounds.
A quick shoutout to all the sidewalks out there. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
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