Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The economy has changed so much. When I was a kid, I could walk into a store with $1 and walk out with 4 candy bars. Now they have cameras everywhere.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
A limbo champion walks into a bar. Instant disqualification.
You come from dust and return to dust. That's why I don't dust. It could be someone I know.
Oh I can walk the walk. Just don't ask me to jog the jog or run the run.
Some people know the rules for playing the game Battleship and some people don't. It's pretty much hit or miss.
I found out my girlfriend is a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
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