Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people know the rules for playing the game Battleship and some people don't. It's pretty much hit or miss.

When I was skinnier, I had a shirt that said I could talk to dead people. I can't wear it anymore because I'm no longer a medium.

I ate my exam papers...which means pretty soon I'll pass the test.

Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

I am pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have a whole set.

All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.