Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest.

If at first, you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.

Every rule has an exception, especially this one.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.