Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

I am pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have a whole set.

If you think things can't get worse, it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.