Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I got 47 happy birthday posts on Facebook and zero actual phone calls. Living the dream.
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I'm at the age where happy hour is my nap time.
I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people's minds. Then I got Facebook.
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.
My New Years resolution this year was to lose 10 pounds. I am happy with my progress. Only 12 more pounds to go!
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