Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

I finally realized I'm a morning person. I love mornings. 11 a.m. is my favorite.

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.

I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine.