Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My Wi-Fi is faster than my motivation.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

I put my phone in airplane mode and now it calls me Shirley.

It's faster to say "World Wide Web" than "WWW"

I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app on my phone. Now my battery keeps draining.

Apple and Blackberry should team up to make a phone called The Pie.