Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Is the professor who instructs dental school students about dentures a Substitooth Teacher?

God created the world. Everything else is made in China.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you're saying what you really think of them.

Don't you wish they made a clap-on clap-off device for some people's mouths?

What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?
l asked my 12 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.