Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.

Don't you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

What's the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.