Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.

Albert Einstein is a great scientist, a good man. But his brother Frank, is a monster.

I am an example to others.
A bad example.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

I went to get acupuncture the other day, and when I got home my voodoo doll was dead.