Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I once lived a stones throw away from a family who all died of mysterious head injuries.
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If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
I once had an argument with a pen. It came to a draw.
I asked a flight attendant how often planes crash. She said "usually just once"
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
It's very hard to concentrate when I'm in a room full of cookies!
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