Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
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I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
I ran out of toilet paper, so I started using the newspaper. The Times are rough.
I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.
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