Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
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I don't have a bad memory. I just remember things differently than they happened.
One of the most expensive things you'll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.
If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old.
I am a smart person but just do stupid things.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, and a Sharpie to change the rest.
I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous.
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