Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.

I really want to start a new diet, but I've got too much on my plate right now.

People are out mountain climbing, and zip-lining, and I'm just happy I got my leg through my underwear without falling over.

I wrote a review for a pair of underwear yesterday. It was brief.

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.