Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

After dinner last night my wife asked me if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it!

"Don't make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.

My friend was trying to convince me that yoga is a sport. I think that's a stretch.

Me and my friends are in a band called "Duvet". We're a cover band.

Midwives help people out.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.