Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries.'

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the extraterrestrials. They're calling it the Apollo G.

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. I laughed more than I thought.

I said I was good at making decisions. I didn't say the decisions I made were good.

If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right?

I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

Two guys walked into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

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