Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

A new study shows that taller people sleep longer in bed.

When I was skinnier, I had a shirt that said I could talk to dead people. I can't wear it anymore because I'm no longer a medium.

I heard the best way to release emotion is to write letters to the people and burn them. What do I do with the letters?

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we would all sleep in toasters.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Scientists estimate there are over 650 million obese people in the world, but those are just round figures.