Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

The first step of forgiveness is understanding some people are just stupid.

I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.

Constipated people don't give a crap.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.

Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.