Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

What's wrong when a physicist and a biologist enter into a relationship? There's no chemistry.

I saw a math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think she was plotting something.

Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion.

There was a power failure at the mall. I got stuck on an escalator for two hours.