Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."

I'm busy right now, can I ignore you later?

Clones are people two.

If at first, you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I tried to make a reservation at the library, but they were
completely booked.