Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Don't let anyone else ruin your day. It's your day. Ruin it yourself.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek they say "boldly go where no one has gone before", but they always meet someone?

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.

"Just be yourself". Ok, well I did and now everyone is scared and I need a lawyer.

Does anyone know why we have to pronounce the g in longevity twice?

I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way.

I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.

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