Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don’t want to talk.
After 20 minutes of being ignored, it's amazing how fast Home Depot employees show up when you try to start a chainsaw.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I feel like I am being stalked.
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
I've opened three birthday cards and I'm already $150 up. I love being a postman!
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