Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Expecting the unexpected makes the unexpected expected.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

Two guys walked into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.