Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.

If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"

I wonder how many animals we tried to ride before we discovered horses we cool with it.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I recently took a pole. 99% of people were annoyed when their tents fell down.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.