Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I got a new compass, but I don't know how to use it. It didn't come with directions.

He who laughs last... didn't get it.

It's almost October, which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house will soon become Halloween decorations.

Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.

My boss said "You are late to work for the third time this week. Do you know what that means?" "It's Wednesday?", I replied.

Love means nothing to a tennis player.