Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Fun fact, Scotland is approximately 50% land. The other half is Scot.
It's faster to say "World Wide Web" than "WWW"
I accidentally downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar app on my phone. Now my battery keeps draining.
Humans are 75% water - basically cucumbers with anxiety.
I'm confused about why landlines have a hashtag. Did Grandma do some Tweeting back in her day?
I'm not stealing WI-FI. If it lands on my property, it's mine.
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