Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I just broke my record for most days on earth. High five!
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
Last night I dreamt I was a vinyl record. I woke up feeling groovy.
Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee
It is almost time to switch from your regular anxiety
to your fancy Christmas anxiety.
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air.", most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
Most bald people still own a comb. They just can't part with it.
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