Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I just broke my record for most days on earth. High five!
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I wish I knew where I stored my old turntable. Just for my records.
I think I'm emotionally constipated because I haven't given a crap in days.
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money? It took you 5-7 seconds to take it from my account.
It's almost October, which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house will soon become Halloween decorations.
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