Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes – and six months later you have to start all over again.

A sprinter was shot with a starter's pistol yesterday. Police say it's race related.

Did you hear the latest scandal? Pythagoras was caught in a love triangle

Throwing scrabble tiles at each other is all fun and games until someone loses an i.

In reality, plants are actually farming us, by giving us oxygen daily, until we eventually decompose, so they can consume us.

Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap.