Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

In my life I've cut down 173 trees. I know because each time I keep a log.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you're saying what you really think of them.

A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. At least, that's what I tell myself.

My goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. Maybe just a newspaper article. Ok, I'd accept a journal entry.